From where I stand

The chaotic yet beautiful endeavors of a freeing spirit

Category: thoughts

Bursting

In any way, the sensation of bursting is unpleasant.

Bursting to announce news, bursting to pee, bursting with tears or bursting with anger.

Bursting is not a feeling I truly ever look forward to.

A sensation above simply bursting, is bursting with aggression, or any sort of passion so to speak. These states of mind (and body) allow us to achieve at the best of our ability at that given moment. They allow out instincts to take over and let nature’s juices flow. However, the lead up to these actions, the short yet significant moments that lead to this outburst of passion build within all of the crevices and nooks hidden under our many layers of skin. In turn, making us want to jump out of them and be set free.

Sometimes I associate myself with a balloon. Slowly gliding along in the wind with no worries. And then spontaneously a child (figure of speech) picks me up and blows and blows and blows into me, stretching my rubber until I can only just close. Leaving me to burst at the seam slowly and painfully until I can finally reach my ‘normal’.

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There’s something between us

Dear G,
I feel like there’s something between us and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.
Recently I’ve been feeling so distant from you. It’s like you don’t even notice I’m there most of the time.
When I try to get your attention, you shut me down and when you need to do something for us, you just obliviously ignore it and shun it as if it’s not important.
I can’t continue on like this so please, take a second to get your shit together.

Regards, yourself.

deception

Emptiness is something no one can feel. It is not an emotion but a state of being. At any given time an individual can claim to feel empty though there is too much going on inside one’s mind to be in that state.

Loneliness. Unpleasant emotions of isolation or lack of companionship. How can one feel so isolated when surrounded by ‘loving’ family, friends, acquaintances that want nothing but the best for you?

When someone has given you something you didn’t even think existed in this world love and it was snatched away so carelessly, there is nothing more you thrive for in a day.

No matter how many emotions you suppress or how many emotions you experience evoked by other things. When you’re curled up on your bed with nothing but a hot mug of tea and a buzz of music you once listened to together, there is nothing that can equate to the absolute high he gave you.

You tell yourself that it’s not the end of the world. Night after night it feels like the walls are closing in. You smile and appreciate the good things in life.

Then, you slip from reality, and once again you are empty and lonely.

invisible

as i sit here surrounded by the people i call my friends i question whether they see me or not. whether if i stood up and walked away they would realise that my patch of grass is empty or not.

as they cackle at shallow gossip and reminisce over moments that don’t include my presence, i continue to drift from them; every moment saddening my ever-breaking heart.

im questioning their depth only as i’ve plummeted deep into the corners of my own mind, begging for someone to notice that im functioning on a distant wavelength.

i look to the sky and observe the clouds, with them they bring heavy rainfall to wash away the marks left behind.

after the rain, i’ll start again.